I miss my Dad tonight. I miss him every night, but especially tonight. I think back to all the times I wanted so badly for him to tell me what he would do, to tell me what to do, to give me the confidence that I was making the right choice. I trusted his judgement so much, his wisdom, his experience.
Now here I am, all grown up, with a wise husband and an ever growing arsenal of experience of my own, and better yet, confidence. Not self confidence, but in the One who leads, and goes before us. Confidence in His voice, in His plan, in His timing and in His power. Confidence in God is a beautiful thing, the kind of confidence that allows you to face the Red Sea and know that you are right where God wants you to be, that there is no obstacle, only opportunity.
Tonight my heart rejoices to bursting, not because God has answered my prayer in leading us to the "next home" he has lined up for us, but because when we find ourselves being led to a wall of water in our path, our hearts skip a beat. We know what happens next. We know the One whose one breath effortlessly opens a path in the midst of the water. Our journey has seasoned us. It has brought us opportunity to press in to the character of God, find Him faithful, generous, extravagant in our regards. He has given us a home here in Italy that is like a mansion in glory. We didn't ask for that, we didn't merit that, we couldn't in a million years afford that, but He gave it to us for a pittance more than the price of a little apartment in a busy high rise. Why? Because He is loving and gracious, and good, and that is all.
I could not be happier tonight as I stand with my toes at the water's edge. We moved forward confidently in God's timing, and with God's direction on looking ahead to our next housing. We made an offer with absolute confidence and confirmation that it was the price God was putting on our hearts to offer. We committed it to God, and wanted nothing less than His best for us, whatever that looked like. We listened, we acted, we waited, and the waters did not part. They parted for someone else, but stayed placid and immovable at our feet. We felt no disappointment in that outcome, no discouragement, no fear, no second guessing. Do you know what we felt? Excitement. Anticipation. Confidence.
Our next address, is still claimed by someone else but we know that God is already at work, in their lives as He is in ours, to move us into place when the timing is perfect for both parties. We know that just as God led the Israelites to homes they had not built, and gardens they had not planted, God already knows our forwarding address. The Red Sea Rules was my Dad's favorite book. I find it impossible to have one favorite book, but I gotta say, this one's in my top five, for sure. I wish my Dad could be here to put his big, strong hand on my shoulder tonight, looking across the water with expectation and a chuckle. He showed me by example what he was always reluctant to put into words, and now I understand why. He wanted my confidence to be in the One who would always go before me, always be by my side, and always show me the way, step by step, day by day.
"Here by the water I'll build an altar to praise You, out of the stones that I've found here. I'll lay them down here rough as they are; knowing You can make them holy."
Stones. They are everywhere. Stumbling stones, stepping stones, stones for throwing, stones for piling. In the bible, stones are used for remembering. This is a place for me to pile my own rough stones of remembering along the road I am traveling, one post at a time. They are more than mere words thrown out into the wake of my path. They are a concrete testament of God's faithfulness, provision and goodness along the way.