Your Father Knows....

We are not the same people we were two years ago. We don't think the same, we don't respond the same, and interestingly, we are no longer surprised when God orchestrates amazing things on our behalf.

That doesn't mean that we are not just as delighted, or just as overcome with emotion, but we are not *surprised*. Because He has proven Himself again and again, and again to be our Source, our Sure Thing. The One who calls, provides for the journey.

We can't really live by a budget, because the numbers don't match. God's math doesn't make ANY sense. Somehow there is money to give, to host, to bless, when there should technically only be enough to pay the rent and utility bills. Our vehicle insurance, repairs, tires, etc are not even in the theoretical budget right now, and amazingly, that doesn't concern us.

Like the lady with the oil and the jars, when it should be running out, somehow, it never does. And when something out of the ordinary looms (like our vehicle insurance next month) the money anonymously shows up in our MSC Canada account in the exact right figures that we need.

Or we agree to pray for discernment about whether we should attend a family camp for European MSC workers and someone emails us before we even have time to pray and says "we want to gift you with *this* amount of money, to use in a way that would bless your family." The exact amount for camp registration.

When God was first challenging us to come to Italy, we felt that He was challenging us to come in faith. With no sure knowledge of where we would end up or how we would pay the bills. We were strangely fierce in our desire to "trust and obey and watch" as the Lord guided and provided. We have never, never, EVER been disappointed.

"Do not be amazed, your Father knows what you need before you even ask", and His children who He has blessed with resources are a blessing to others, that we may bless others, that they... Oh what a privilege to be His child, and to be siblings with you in this life now, and in our eternal home. May His family grow and His name be made famous among the nations!

Room Service

Pietro is currently attending a conference called Missione 2016 where John Piper is the key note speaker. This is the biggest conference of its kind ever held in Italy with 1,500 attendees. Being rather drained after the month we have just had with a death in the family, my being gone for 3 weeks, and then having company during the following three weeks. I think the thought of mingling with 1,500 other people was a bit overwhelming to him right now to say the least.

He's a light sleeper to start with, and sleeps even worse when he is in unfamiliar surroundings and especially with unfamiliar people. His first text upon arriving at his hotel last night was "pray for me, my roommate smokes." My heart sank. Second hand smoke (even residual) is one of those things that sets Pietro's allergies raging which then leaves him sneezing like a crazy person, and eyes and nose running so heavily that he is forced to lay prostrate for days on end due to the misery of it. I told him to go and talk to the conference organizers and explain his situation, even though I doubted he would. He didn't see my message until many hours later that night but in the meantime I prayed that God would please provide my husband another room and protect him physically.

His message to me at midnight was, "I just want you to know I got a private room. I am so thankful."

Today he called to explain what had happened. After he had checked into his room he went back to the check in desk, I can't remember why exactly, maybe to pick up his conference packet and there was a woman in front of him who was very upset and irritable that her brother, who had payed for and requested a private room, had been roomed with someone else. Turns out her brother was the smoker from Pietro's room.  Hotel management asked Pietro "if he would mind moving"! They expediently moved him to a private room to accomodate this other man's private booking. 

Not only was he protected from a sure fire allergy flare up that would have ruined his entire weekend, this "mix-up", although I would much rather refer to it as a divine "mash-up", allowed for him to have the luxury of a room to himself  which I know will be a huge blessing to my off the charts introvert spouse as he mingles with 1,500 people for the next three days.

Nothing to Give

I started this day with nothing to give. And yet to me this day so much has been given.

When I rose with the dawn and wearily gathered my bible, prayer journal and devotional, I started by journaling how spent I was. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Ten days of battling a wicked ear infection, as many days of seeking to sum 40 years of testimony into four pages that would wholly reflect and glorify the One who has been there leading and sustaining each step of the way. A night of very little rest due to nausea from antibiotics, and the monumental task of going out and standing before a room full of women to bare my soul just hours ahead of me.

"God," I wrote. "I need You. I have nothing without You. I don't have the energy to do what I need to do today. We don't have the resources to pay the bills that have come in the past two days. We don't have the patience and the endurance to face another month of dealing with all the bureaucracy of getting our residency issues sorted out. God, it's been a hard year. Four homes, and we still aren't settled. All the expenses and the exchange rate on our support making this seem financially impossible. God, we need you."

After journaling, I took up my devotional book, turning to the passage in Phil 4:6-7 and read this: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; then the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

The devotional meditation that followed read;  "In every thing, by prayer and supplication make your requests known to God." 'But do not beg. Rather, come just as a business manager bringing to the owner the needs, checks to be signed, etc., and knowing that to lay the matter before Him means immediate supply. I (God) long to supply, but the asking- or the faith-assurance from you, is necessary, because to you that contact with Me is vital."

With thanksgiving, I praise God for how He has provided for both our needs and some of our wants. And how it has been His provision, His blessing to come through in each case. How I love to make His name famous for how faithful and good He is! And so I place my stones in the road.

Because of the drop in the Canadian dollar, even though our support remains the same and our supporters are faithful, what we get after the exchange rate does not come close to reflecting our actual budget. This has meant that while we have money to pay the rent, the bills, gas for the van and feed our family there is nothing extra for clothing or medication or unexpected expenses. So when the boys were down to two pairs of "acceptable to wear in public" pants each, one pair of which could be considered "iffy" I started praying I could find some cheap used pants for them at the market that could be squeezed into the grocery budget. Unfortunately because of all the immigrants here, it is extremely hard to find used items at the market and for two weeks I had no success. That second Saturday I prayed and told God the boys needed pants and that Jonathan needed shoes. The girls had also requested I keep my eye open for brown dress shoes for them (a want not a need).

The next day one of my new friends, the wife of an American chaplain on the base, was visiting with me at church and said, "Oh, by the way, next Saturday there is a bag sale at the Thrift Store on base, would you like to come with me?" (You need to be sponsored on by a military family). Of course you will not be surprised to know that in that sale I got two BAGS full of clothes for ten euros. Not just one, but four pairs of pants for each of the boys, and although there were not many shoes to choose from, there were 6 pairs of beautiful brown dress shoes in the girls' sizes. Besides this I was able to get coats and house coats for a number of the kids. All for the price of ONE pair of pants at the market.

For a few weeks my heart has been very burdened for Shailey. She is sixteen and was so enjoying her "freedom" in Canada to get out and do things as an individual. Her piano lessons, quizzing, riding... she has given all of these up and has nothing to replace them here. She expressed feeling a bit stir crazy, and wanting to find a way to earn some money so that she could take riding lessons at the stable nearby. They are not expensive, but even ten euros a lesson is one third of our day's household expenses and unfeasible for us. So we committed to pray even though my heart did not have hope. The economy here is in crisis. Everyone is struggling to put food on the table. People are constantly asking us to provide work for them, cutting our grass, cleaning our house, cooking for us, they are begging for work and we can't help any of them. Riding lessons for Shailey seems extravagant in light of this.

But within days of requesting that God provide the means for Shailey to make some money so that she can pursue an interest, we were approached with a request for babysitting from another American family from our church. She has three dates pencilled in for the near future and her eyes are shining like stars as she looks forward to being able to climb in the saddle again.

Lastly, just today, after my time in the word this morning I handed over these unexpected bills that are coming up due to our new rental contract and hook ups. Like the devotional said, I didn't beg. I just said, God, we are your servants. You are our source. We don't have the money to pay these bills. And now tonight, in my inbox, a little note from someone on the other side of the world, saying they had "some money" they were praying how and where to give, and today they knew they were to give it to us.

"I (God) long to supply, but the asking- or the faith-assurance from you, is necessary, because to you that contact with Me is vital."

Oh how these words resonate with me in this current chapter of growth and learning about His goodness and faithfulness. Every day I look at the Vine and the Branches painting Ramona gifted us before we moved and I realize that it says it all. Apart from Him we can do nothing. He is our life, our source, our song.

The Wood Between the Worlds

"As you look at the days before you, you see a twisted, complicated path, with branches going off in all directions. You wonder how you can possibly find your way through that maze. Then you remember the One who is with you always holding you by your right hand. You recall My promise to guide you with My counsel, and you begin to relax. As you look at the path ahead, you notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring your view. You can see only a few steps in front of you, so you turn your attention more fully to Me and begin to enjoy My presence. The fog is a protection for you, calling you back into the present moment. Although I inhabit all of space and time, you can communicate with Me only here and now. Someday the fog will no longer be necessary, for you will have learned to keep your focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you." Jesus Calling Devotional November 16

"I'm still in Your presence, You've taken my hand. You wisely and tenderly lead me, and then You bless me." Psalm 73:24

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us. But for right now, until then... we have three things to do... trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly..."  1 Corinthians 13:12-13

The written word is my love language. And since God knows it is, He graces me with extravagant gifts in the language of my soul. Words evoke such emotion in me.  Such worship and resolve and when God meets me personally and whispers beautiful words of promise, comfort and strength, I melt into a happy little puddle of sunshine yellow butter.

The words above, both in the devotional and in the scripture passages, answer the cry of my heart so directly that it takes my breath away. At this stage in our journey God truly has us standing in a deep fog with no foresight as to what lies ahead. We continue to close big doors behind ourselves, doors that seem essential to survival, doors named house and work. It is like we are standing in the wood between the worlds in Lewis' classic, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Only in our wood, the air is not warm and sleepy with sunlight filtering through the leaves. In our wood there is deep fog and a sense of not being able to move forward until one feels the pressure on the hand and that Gentle and Assuring Voice that affirms "This is the way, walk in it."

I can't say fog has ever been one of my favorite manifestations of the elements.  I'm more of a puffy clouds in a big blue sky kind of girl, and I love, love, love light.  I have an aversion to blinds and window treatments because what are they really there for but to shut out the view and diminish the light.  Big, bright windows with views opening out into the wild blue yonder, that's what I love.  But right now God calls me to stand in the mist and not resist.  To learn to be still in this muffled, mysterious place where there is no view, and very little light. And in the stillness, in the mist, when I cease struggling, a deep sense of peace settles over me and I realize that my other senses are heightened. I can't see that He is near any more than I could if the air was clear.  But oh, I SENSE it. I FEEL it. I HEAR His voice as if amplified and  I learn what it is to TASTE and SEE that the Lord is good.  Precious experiences that lead me to embrace the beauty and wonder of the mist in this wood between the worlds.