God's Plans are Greater Than >

This is long, but oh, so, good. Not one to skim, but something to read when you are taking a few moments to enjoy a coffee and a few moments with your feet up.

We have been in Canada 9 days. In 9 days God has answered 9 months of prayers in the most remarkable of ways. Within 24 hours of landing we were able to renew our driver's licences and re-establish residency on a temporary address. Within 5 days of landing Pietro received an official job offer at his previous place of employment, and it met every one of our prayer requests. Salaried position, flexibility to work from home, health insurance family plan, flexibility to schedule own hours around his class schedule. The job offer came with a few benefits that were above and beyond and are a huge help to us. Company vehicle, so we don't need to buy a 2nd vehicle for when Pietro is away for work, company phone, so we can get by with just one personal cell phone plan for me, and company equipment so I can inherit Pietro's laptop and finally have a working keyboard! Woo Hoo!

The same day Pietro accepted the job offer we were able to  purchase a 2007 Honda Odyssey with all the specs we were looking for, and for the price we prayed for (no used car tax!). It also came with many perks we did not ask for such as winter tires and rims, blue tooth dvd player and sunroof. Because as I say, you can't outgive God and God takes pleasure in giving incredible gifts to his kiddoes.

On day 7 we took a road trip down to Caronport to look at houses. We looked at four houses, and it came down to two. Before I tell "the rest of the story" I need to go back and share the backstory on our house hunting in Caronport. It was probably late January or early February when we started watching the market in Caronport. There were only 2 houses listed at that time, and for quite some time after that; a 1974 4 bedroom bi-level with single attached garage, and a 1300 square foot 1 1/2 story character home that had been divided up into 3 suites, no garage.

A special someone taught us to be specific in asking God for our needs, and also for our desires. We invited people to do this with us when we moved to Italy and God surpassed our every need AND desire. We brought our needs and desires before God again and asked that His will would be done. Our needs were 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, single attached garage (Pietro says his age has earned him the right to make this a bonafide need, lol), large foyer or mudroom, sufficient dining room space for our large family and guests. Our desires were 5-6 bedrooms, suite potential, 2 bathrooms plus ensuite, home office, double attached garage with direct entry, yard that offered privacy.

As March approached we felt we should start knocking on some doors and since no other properties had come on the market, we made an offer on the 4 bedroom bi-level, praying that if it was not God's pick for us, He would shut the door. Another offer came in after we made ours, and they went with the other offer. A clear no.

To avoid making a long story even longer, suffice it to say this exact same or very similar thing happened to us with two other houses, and then one other house we didn't even get a chance to put an offer on because it was sold before it was even put on the market. By this time, there was really only one house on the market that could potentially work for our family. It was a very old, dated rental bungalow that didn't have much in the way of our needs/desires, but we are the kind of people who would settle for much less, and happily make do. So I began to pray about whether we should attempt to put an offer on that house. I remember this moment as clear as lightning and Pietro can attest to it because I recounted it to him right after it happened. I was sitting in the van waiting for him and as I presented this older bungalow to God in prayer I felt him clearly impress upon my heart "Why do you believe me for so little? If you only knew what I have in mind for you, it is far greater than your imagining and the meager provision you ask of Me. Believe Me."

I told Pietro this as soon as He got in the van while we were driving back to His mom's house. No sooner had we parked and were entering the house and Pietro received an email notification about a new house listed in Caronport. He opened up the listing and as he looked over the specs for the house I saw his eyes get big and his head go back in reaction. He said, "Here it is." He passed me the phone and without even looking at the specs I started just scrolling through pictures. My knee jerk, split second response was to laugh like Sarah must have laughed when she overheard the strangers discussing her prospective pregnancy. Quite literally. I laughed just like that, and responded just like that. "In. My. Dreams." And handed the phone back.

And that was that. I didn't even entertain a single thought about that house or open that listing up again although it has been on the market for three months. Until.... about two weeks ago.  I was presenting another not ideal property to God in prayer and I felt this strong impression: "I have already shown you the house of My choosing. You rejected My choice, why do you keep asking Me?" With this thought I envisioned the moment Pietro showed me that house, and my reaction and I felt a wave of conviction and realization that it was true. It was SO clear, and we dismissed it without giving it any consideration because it was greater than our imaginings. Again, I told Pietro about this right when it happened.

We decided to just "wait and pray" until we could go to Caronport in person, which we did on Wednesday. While we were in Caronport we found out that one of the houses that had been conditionally sold for some time, was going back up for private sale in the coming days. We went to see it, and it became a definite potential house for us to put an offer on. It was a 1200 square foot 1970's bi-level with 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms plus ensuite, single attached and double detached garage, large foyer and back entry mudroom, private office and walk in closet off the master. Beautiful outdoor space. It was the first house we looked at that we really LIKED. They were asking $350,000.

The same day we went to look at the "In my dreams" house. If we liked the other house, we loved this house. A 1476 square foot bungalow with walk out ICF basement  with in floor heat, 4+2 bedroom, 2 bathroom plus en-suite, 1 or 2 bedroom walk out suite with the option to keep the one bedroom with the family portion of the house or the suite portion, double attached garage with direct entry, situated on the edge of town just off a quiet crescent cornering the school field and overlooking the prairie sunset with no houses behind or on the one side, even a town road allowance between the house and the closest neighbor on the other side. Perfectly situated next to the elementary school, and just a block and a half from the college. The clincher for us was the price. Even $350,000 was more than we had planned on investing in a house, and this one was listed at $375,000. The sellers of the $350,000 house were not entertaining lower offers as they already had a conditional offer at that amount.

The morning after we looked at the houses, we got the surprise notification that our container had arrived in port quite a few weeks earlier than expected. Like Shasta and Bree in C.S. Lewis' story of the Horse and His Boy, we felt that this was "the lion at our flanks", pressing in and urging us forward. But which house to make the offer on? After praying, thinking and discussing we felt that we had nothing to lose in putting an offer for $350,000 for the newer, more expensive home with revenue potential and more space and flexibility. Again, we committed it to God that if this was His will for us, He would open the door, and if not, that He would close it. We were happy with either house and confident that we were placing it in God's hands. They accepted our offer well before closing time without any counter offer or amendments. As one dear friend put it, "Houston, we have a house!"

We prayed that we would be confident and that God would be glorified in His care and provision for us as and boy, oh boy.... He is never one to disappoint those who put their trust in Him. Once again I am humbled and astounded by His mercy and grace and His "greater than" provision towards our family.

Whither Then? I Cannot Say.

When I first began blogging about our faith and ministry journey over four years ago, I was reading the Hobbit to my boys. So many parallels gripped me that I called this blog "The Road to Middle Earth"; Middle Earth being the English transliteration of "Mediterranean". The picture on my blog header was a backdrop for the Tolkien quote I chose as my heading:

My blogging changed themes shortly after we arrived on the field and it became Stones in the Road, based on a favorite Steve Bell song of mine. Its purpose has been to testify to God's goodness and faithfulness along the way. He has been so good. He has been so faithful. And we have no doubt that good and faithful He will be.

At the time of choosing the Tolkien quote early on in our journey, it was the first part that really resonated with me. Now, it is the last line. The last line really says it all when it comes to our current reality. Wither then? I cannot say.

In just under one month we will be shipping our belongings to Canada. We know the province. That is about all we know. A few months ago we thought we had a pretty good idea of how to work this all out in a way that made sense to us. Since Pietro wants to take preaching, leadership and counseling classes at seminary, and our oldest daughter is beginning college on the same campus this fall, we could help cut living expenses for her by moving there for the next four years, be part of a small christian community where our younger kids could attend christian school and Pietro could find work in nearby Moose Jaw (we had a few leads at that time) while fitting studies around work. We could picture this nice, neat package that seemed a wonderful fit for all of our family's needs.

The job possibilities were closed doors. Housing has been CLEAR closed doors. Caronport High School is actually a private school and therefore any expenses we could have helped reduce for Shailey would be eaten up by private school tuition for our other kids. And so we are left questioning our nice, neat, four year plan and learning to say, "If not this, wither then....?" and learning to drift on the current of "I cannot say".

We feel like this is another big "Wait For It" moment in our lives and this time I am really trying to do better, to not wrestle through it like a caterpillar trying to break from the cocoon before its time. I still find myself wriggling at times, but I catch myself and still myself, and find my rest in the flow of the current better than I have in the past.

One open door we have seen is the provision of a  pre-approved mortgage despite the fact that we have no job security (yet). Not only that, it provides us with maximum flexibility (pay as often as you can and as much as you want, or don't pay at all and they will collect interest from our church building project investments at the end of the year). This has been a miraculous answer to prayer, because the honest truth is that with the largest portion of our money from the sale of the farm tied up in our home church building project until 2030, with no job prospects and no income, we definitely don't fit ANY of the standard criteria for a mortgage! But God opened that door so wide for us, in a way that was far beyond anything we would have ever dreamed or asked. So when God does reveal the "whither then", we will be able to move expediently to secure housing!

Until then, He has provided us with a place to stay in our home town of Waldheim until the first week of August (barring the 14-24th of June, if you know of a place we could crash during that period that would be another answer to prayer) and He has given us more confidence in being able to say the words (and be content in saying them): "I cannot say." Where will you be living? I cannot say. What will you be doing? I cannot say. Where will your kids be going to school? I cannot say. What are your plans for the future? I cannot say. The one thing we can say with complete confidence is that although we do not know WHAT the future holds, we know WHO holds the future.

We have had a lot of questions about Pietro's plans for seminary, and what our long term plans are and even those have become increasingly "we cannot say". We do feel increasingly that it is a time in life where we must show care and concern for our kids emotional, educational and social needs, and we do see providing stability and opportunity for them as a large priority for the next ten years until the youngest one comes of age. Since financially it will not be saving us money to live in Caronport, and since doors are not opening in Caronport area for employment and since employment is going to be the important clincher for location, we feel that once the other details of our lives fall together, we will see if, how and when Pietro can fit a class or two a year around holidays and in his spare time through the modular courses offered at Briercrest.

And what about Italy, you ask? We cannot say. Although the dream and the willingness is there if and when God were to open the door in the future for us to return, we have been cautioned and have come to a feeling of conviction we are NOT to put any timeline, or even a definitive stamp of self assurance on our return to Italy at this point. By no longer trying to force a timeline of our own devising, we can focus on living fully in the next chapter of life to continue serving, growing, learning and living out our mission wherever (and for however long) God deems fit to plant us.

Please pray with us that we would continue to have absolute confidence in God's plan and provision for our family, when it comes to our community, our home, our employment, our continued formation and "place in His plan". We might not be able to say "wither then" but we can confidently say, "wherever and whatever lies ahead of us, we know Who goes before us, we know Who stands behind: the God of angel armies is always by our side!

Patchwork Pieces

One of the biggest challenges that I have personally grappled with over the past four years is a paradox between desiring to be directed by God, and the need to, in a way, "have a plan"- to present to our agency, sending church and partners. In order to do the second, you need to try to discern the first, but pressure often leads you to feel the need to have this upfront, in advance of when it is revealed. While we have found that the discipline of setting and holding ourselves accountable to our ministry vision, mission and objectives have helped keep us focused and protected us from being pulled in any and every direction, they also, due to our own shortcomings, have taken on a life of their own that can very easily distract us from that open 'unknowing and watching' to be merely participants in what God is doing.

In my quiet time this morning I was given the picture of a patchwork quilt. So many pieces to sort through, to cut to size, to fit together, and to stitch together one edge at a time. Within a quilt there are patterns of patches that are designed to fit against one another, working together to merge into a whole. What washed over my heart is that I am not the quilter in the story of my life. We are not the pattern setters in the story of our comings, our goings, our direction, our final pattern. God is. I am the quilt in progress. And my life is made up of a million circumstances and details, colors and patterns. Why is it, that even knowing this, so many times in the daily grind I want to be the one to design this story, to bring the pieces together and see it take shape. Or, in moments of conviction, I realize that this is not my place; but still I strain mentally to try to discern the pattern emerging from the pieces. Like a child looking at an optical puzzle, so often I make out a picture hidden within the picture while missing the big picture completely. 

A dear friend told me yesterday "I feel like I am a number of steps behind in following your journey" to which I replied, 'No, more likely just finding it hard to keep step.' Because as we try to find our way forward, I can honestly say my own steps are faltering at best and at worst I expend a lot of energy pointlessly breaking bush that God has not yet bulldozed before us. So how can I do merit to that in a ministry letter? Sometimes long stretches go buy where I ask myself, "What can I say? We need to say something. We need a plan. We need a goal. We need answers. Well friends, it's easy to make a plan. Especially if you love to plan and dream and pursue dreams. It's a lot harder to just let the pieces of your life take shape as the Master stitches away one piece at a time.

Do you want to know the real, messy, vulnerable truth? As much as we would like to, as much as we have strived to, we realize with increasing humility that we don't know for sure what our future holds. We have felt obliged to 'have a plan' for the sake of our partners, we have sought to piece the patches together as best we can fathom, but the honest truth is we are probably doing an infantile job of it. Living in confidence of the Who and the What and the Why rather than the Where, the When, and the How, this is the discipline we are being challenged to learn. 

We have seen how God sewed the pieces of our past and our last four years together to do something beautiful within us, we do believe without any doubt this was His perfect timing and plan for us. Now He is picking up different pieces, new pieces, old pieces you might even say, and continuing to work this unique pattern of our story that is rich with two worlds, two cultures, two places. But we can't be in two places at once. We can only be in one stitch in time and live fully in the moment.  

Yesterday I was hit with the realization that, while not resisting or rebelling against the pattern that is shaping around our lives, I have not been embracing what God has next.  I have been trying to just skip jump it and live in the dream of where it will lead. Which, if I am going to apply this lesson,  I need to learn to say were it might lead. Living in the future is as futile as living in the past; I can only live fully present in the next moment. Because the next is the now, and the now is all we have. And so I fight all that is in me to stop trying to piece together the patches. To try to see my part as becoming nothing but thread, nothing but present and pliable in the hand of the Master Quilter who is stitching something bigger than I can see from my vantage point. To be present in the moment of one single stitch in time and to trust that He is creating something beautiful.

'Our lives are like patchwork quilts. When we view the pieces of our lives- joys, sorrows, health, illness, marriage, obedient children, willful children- when we can't see the pattern. We're so close to what's happening at the moment that we can't see the whole. But the Master Craftsman, the Ultimate Quilter, Father God, is at work. From our vantage point we can't see that God is creating something beautiful, but He is.' Gwen Ellis, By His Pattern.

Here by the Water

I miss my Dad tonight. I miss him every night, but especially tonight. I think back to all the times I wanted so badly for him to tell me what he would do, to tell me what to do, to give me the confidence that I was making the right choice. I trusted his judgement so much, his wisdom, his experience.

Now here I am, all grown up, with a wise husband and an ever growing arsenal of experience of my own, and better yet, confidence. Not self confidence, but in the One who leads, and goes before us. Confidence in His voice, in His plan, in His timing and in His power. Confidence in God is a beautiful thing, the kind of confidence that allows you to face the Red Sea and know that you are right where God wants you to be, that there is no obstacle, only opportunity.

Tonight my heart rejoices to bursting, not because God has answered my prayer in leading us to the "next home" he has lined up for us, but because when we find ourselves being led to a wall of water in our path, our hearts skip a beat. We know what happens next. We know the One whose one breath  effortlessly opens a path in the midst of the water. Our journey has seasoned us. It has brought us opportunity to press in to the character of God, find Him faithful, generous, extravagant in our regards. He has given us a home here in Italy that is like a mansion in glory. We didn't ask for that, we didn't merit that, we couldn't in a million years afford that, but He gave it to us for a pittance more than  the price of a little apartment in a busy high rise. Why? Because He is loving and gracious, and good, and that is all.

I could not be happier tonight as I stand with my toes at the water's edge. We moved forward confidently in God's timing, and with God's direction on looking ahead to our next housing. We made an offer with absolute confidence and confirmation that it was the price God was putting on our hearts to offer. We committed it to God, and wanted nothing less than His best for us, whatever that looked like. We listened, we acted, we waited, and the waters did not part. They parted for someone else, but stayed placid and immovable at our feet. We felt no disappointment in that outcome, no discouragement, no fear, no second guessing. Do you know what we felt? Excitement. Anticipation. Confidence.

Our next address, is still claimed by someone else but we know that God is already at work, in their lives as He is in ours, to move us into place when the timing is perfect for both parties. We know that just as God led the Israelites to homes they had not built, and gardens they had not planted, God already knows our forwarding address. The Red Sea Rules was my Dad's favorite book. I find it impossible to have one favorite book, but I gotta say, this one's in my top five, for sure. I wish my Dad could be here to put his big, strong hand on my shoulder tonight, looking across the water with expectation and a chuckle. He showed me by example what he was always reluctant to put into words, and now I understand why. He wanted my confidence to be in the One who would always go before me, always be by my side, and always show me the way, step by step, day by day.

Certain of... God

"God speaks in the language you know best— not through your ears, but through your circumstances. God has to destroy our determined confidence in our own convictions. We say, “I know that this is what I should do” — and suddenly the voice of God speaks in a way that overwhelms us by revealing the depths of our ignorance." 

These words by Oswald Chambers hit me right in the feelers this morning. In that gently convicting way that He has, God had already been peeling back layers of my heart to reveal that I do this All. The. Time. And if I am going to get wise I need to Stop. Doing. That.

Here I stand, just over the surprise that there is a switchback in our road that we had not foreseen. Here I stand, having learned enough by this time to gather my bearings relatively quickly (comparatively speaking), lean into the curve and look ahead with expectation to what lies around the bend.  Here I stand, not quite wise enough to stop myself from trying to mentally map out where this is all going and establish a detailed itinerary and ETA for final destination.

Decent pass on the first part of the assignment, miserable fail on the second. I love details, I love planning, dreaming, executing, checking off neat little boxes. Unfortunately those qualities aren't in the least bit compatible with a life of "trust and obey". 

I pray this time I will learn the important difference between expectancy and certainty. I pray this time I will keep my feet moving, but my mind at rest; abandoned to God, engaged in the next step, certain only in He who leads and the knowledge that the journey will be worth every step.

Curves in the Road

This fall the first of multiple road signs came into sight, catching our attention and beginning to alert us to check our speed and be attentive because a curve in the road was up ahead. Little did we imagine it would be a hairpin curve that seems to be leading us directly away from the destination where we feel led and and called to minister. This is hard for our minds and hearts to grasp because it seems contrary to our human logic and reasoning. And yet I am coming to understand the limitations of this line of reasoning, because life isn't linear and curves are inevitable. They are not definitive and they are not final. They are not the end of the road, they are just a part of the road.

I don't know why this is such a difficult concept to grasp, when experience has shown it time and time again to be true, but roads are seldom linear. My mind is drawn to linear things. Or at least to what *I* think of as linear; ie: concretely linear.... "arranged in or extending in a straight line." But as a reader and a writer I know that linear narrative looks very different from the definition of linear as stated above. A linear narrative involves progressing from one stage to another in a series of steps or stages, it is sequential, forming a logical order to a logical outcome, but not always predictable.

So in my limited human reasoning, if I started at point A and believed my final destination to be point Z, I would expect and desire points B-Y to be predictably planted in a nice straight line as the crow flies all serving to speed me on my way to point Z. But God's concept of linear is something else entirely, a road designed not to get us from point A to Z tout suite, as much as through curves B to Y, each one of them a mile marker in their own right on our journey toward sanctification and spiritual maturity. And sanctification doesn't happen in the express lane.

“God called the Israelites out of slavery and into the Promised Land, but then He made
them wait for 40 years. God asked Samuel to anoint David as king, but then David had
to wait in great peril during Saul’s reign before becoming king. Paul was converted and
charged with a mission to reach the gentiles, but he took years before starting his
ministry. Even Jesus didn’t begin acting in His “official calling” until the wedding at
Cana. You might know exactly how God wants to give heavenly purpose to your life, and
you might even be tasting it right now in what seems like the perfect opportunity, but if
your spouse is not on board and your marriage is not elevated, then God might just be
kindly giving you a glimpse of what is to come and asking you to wait. To wait until you
are ready, until your spouse is ready (or your kids), to wait until the world is ready…”
Lindsay Hall

When we started this journey into overseas ministry I was reading The Hobbit to our sons. I found so many heart wrenching parallels to our life within its pages. I never imagined that having once braved the 'There' aspect of the journey: embarked into the unknown, reached the destination, faced the dragon, we might continue to find parallels within its pages about the 'and Back Again' part. How anti-climactic. That part definitely seems less adventuresome and romantic.

And yet here we are. Having reached what we believed to be our destination only to find out this is only curve ___ in the journey, and that sometimes, unexpectedly we find ourselves at a curve in the road that appears to be leading us in the WRONG direction. Because we are programmed to think that FORWARD equates with "in the same direction". So we stand there scratching our heads and questioning everything. That can't possibly be right. Somehow the signs must have been tampered with. THAT is the direction we came from and this THIS on the other hand, is the direction we embarked on and must take if we hope to reach point Z.

But we mustn't minimize curves C-Y. We mustn't try to skip corners or think that stubbornly deciding to break our own trail in the direction we think we need to be going is going to be more efficient or logical. If there is a bend in the road, there is a reason. Roads are designed to lead us around, over, under, through unpredictable terrain, and sometimes they seem to be completely counter-intuitive to where we think we should be going. But if every point holds something we need at our destination, some experience, some tool, some purpose, then we must take each curve and await with anticipation and expectation the view and experiences that await us around the bend. This is another way that joy in the journey can continue to be found, learning to lean into the curves.

One Word

Increasingly in recent years I have been coming to filter everything in the christian life through the lens of one simple word. Relationship.

If we were to sum up the gospel, the good news, I think we could use this word as the theme.

God created humanity to be in relationship with Him.

When mankind rejected God, God pursued us by sending His son Jesus to earth to live in relationship with us and to show us what right relationship with God looks like.

Ultimately Jesus sacrifice was done with a heart intent on redemption and reconciliation of our broken relationship with God.

Our restored relationship with God places us into His family, a relationship illustrated by being one body with many parts. As His children  we are called to be His ambassadors, reconciling the world to Him by declaring His desire for relationship.

The more I think about it the more I am convinced the gospel, the christian life and christian missions can ultimately be wrapped up in this one word. Relationship. Picture the christian life like a three legged stool, where each leg represents a different sphere of relationship. One leg represents our relationship WITH God, one our relationship toward each other WITHIN the family of God and the third our relationship to those WITHOUT, others in the world.

Each of these legs are necessary to make the whole of a child of God. If we are not growing in our intimacy WITH God, not growing in love towards one another WITHIN God’s family, we can not be effective ambassadors to those WITHOUT. On the flip side If we are only concerned about our own personal relationship with God, we are one legged and missing two thirds of His purpose for us.

It might seem simple to wrap so much up into one word. But we all know that being in relationship is anything but simple.

I read a book recently that really caused me to evaluate my way of looking at my relationship with God. The book was based on just one word as well. WITH. It’s such a common, ordinary word, but I can’t say those words WITH GOD now without it being pregnant with meaning for me.

In a nutshell the book talks about five general stances or postures that can come to influence our view of God and as a result the way we relate to him.

The first stance is one of a life lived OVER God. This is where we live life oblivious to or at times even rebellious toward the authority of God in our lives. In a life OVER God stance our own will, emotions, dreams and desires are what dictate our choices and plans and we feel no guilt over that, because we believe it is completely within our own rights to decide our own destiny. In a life OVER God stance it is not that we don’t believe in the existence of God, but that we don’t think His existence has much if anything to do with the day to day workings of our life. We may even “fit him into our calendar” weekly, or daily, and go to Him with our prayers and petitions, but our hands remain firmly on the wheel, our foot on the gas or the brakes  at all times.

The second stance is a life lived UNDER God. This is where we live life acutely aware of the authority of God in our lives. We are aware of His holiness, and our fallenness. of righteousness and unrighteousness. We place importance on rules and rule following, right and wrong. Life under God is often characterized by a strong interest in obedience and righteousness.

The third stance is life derived FROM God.  This is where we live life acutely aware of our dependence God being our source and our supply. We recognize that all we have is from him and all we need can be found in Him. We place importance on TRUSTING God, BELIEVING God and THANKING God. Life derived FROM God is often characterized by growing trust and faith.

The fourth stance is one of a  life lived FOR God. This is where we live life acutely aware of all that God has done for us and in love and worship and passion, we want to give back. We want to live sold out, completely surrendered, we want our life to count and we want purpose and meaning that accomplish things FOR God and His kingdom. Life lived FOR God is often characterized by sacrifice and service.

Contemplating these stances was like looking in a mirror for me. I can see myself in each of these stances at different stages of life. Early on in our married life we lived our lives OVER God, plotting our own course and largely oblivious to what God might desire or require of us. Then about four years ago we felt strongly convicted to place every aspect of our lives UNDER the sovereign control of God,  and the words surrender and Lordship became very pivotal for us. Since we left for the mission field we can see how these last two stances of life FROM God and life FOR God have come to the forefront and been magnified in our thinking.

All of these stances kind of remind me of my children as they went through various stages of growth and development, and the way it affected our parent child relationship.  Like a toddler must learn obedience, and a child must learn respect, and a teenager must learn responsibility. These stances are stages we move through as we are learning how to relate to God.

if we are looking at the gospel through the lens of relationship, it is ultimately not a stance of life over, under, from or for God so much as life lived intimately WITH God that is our invitation. This is where we live life acutely conscious of, in communion WITH, in love WITH and on mission WITH God. When you think of it this way there is a vast difference between life lived WITH God and life lived FOR God. In life WITH God the focus becomes the relationship, rather than the rules, the provision or the purpose. Those things will all be there, but they will be products of the relationship rather than define our relationship.

When you are aware of it the Bible just overflows with “withs”. Jesus said, surely I am WITH you till the end of the age” and God says that he has raised us up to rule WITH Christ, and that He will give us the right to sit WITH Him upon His throne.

I challenge you when you are reading the Old Testament to look at each story through the lens of relationship. Adam walked with God in the garden. Enoch walked with God. Noah, Abraham, Moses, Elijah, were all noted for their intimate personal relationships with God. Even the 10 commandments take on new meaning when you consider them through the lens of relationship. The first 5 protect our right relationship with God, and the second 5 protect our relationships within society.

Obviously if we are  living life WITH God, we are called to be in relationship not only WITH Him, but WITHIN His family. We don’t just get a Heavenly Father, we inherit a whole lot of relations. I will be honest with you. This is sometimes the place I have the most struggle. It’s easy for me to be patient and kind with those who don’t know any better but my patience often runs thin for those in my own family, and in God’s family too. Much of our ministry is based on teaching about stages of spiritual growth and how to disciple people to spiritual maturity. I have to remind myself often that  other people’s spiritual growth is not my goal. Bringing people into right relationship WITH God and with each other is the goal, growth will be the result. Again, looking at everything through the lens of relationship. This makes my work so much simpler and fulfilling.

So much could be said about our relationships with each other within the family of God.

Read the New Testament through the lens of relationship and you will be struck by how much of the epistles are full of advice on how to protect and promote relationship within the family of God, 1 Cor 13 is often referred to as the love chapter, but even this I have come to view as the relationship chapter.

Finally. As a church, God has made those of us within His family ambassadors to the world without, to be in relationship with the lost and to invite others into relationship with Him. We can not share what we do not possess. In order to invite people into relationship with God, our relationship WITH Him needs to be such that it backs up what we say about Him. Our relationships within the body need to be governed by the fruit of the spirit as well as grace and humility. Our heart for the lost needs to be one of deep love, not just a puritanical commitment to fulfill the great commission.

In all of this, Jesus is our example. As I look at Jesus life through the lens of relationship I become more and more aware of  how intentional and focused He was on relationships. He didn’t write books, he didn’t book amphitheatres and hold crusades. I highly doubt he would have had a facebook or twitter account. He ministered for the most part in the context of personal connection and relationship, even though at times that context grew to include great crowds.

This leads me to my final observation of what I am learning in my own life. Relationships require energy. Lots of energy. Our energy is limited. Especially if we are introverts.  Even Jesus energy and sphere of influence  was limited. I am struck by how many times in the gospels it quietly states “jesus withdrew to a solitary place”, or Jesus withdrew from the crowd with his disciples or something to that effect.

Don’t you find it interesting that Jesus didn’t do a European tour, a Middle Eastern tour or even a 12 tribes of Israel tour. His ministry was very localized and for the most part centered around 12 men, 3 to an even more intimate degree. In Gethsemane the night before he was crucified he made a statement that has really come to have a huge impact on both Pietro and I. He said “I have completed the work for which I was sent.” He was not referring to the work of the cross here. The subject of this prayer is not the cross at all, it’s his disciples. The entire prayer is about how he had completed the role of disciple maker with his disciples. He was confident that he had impacted those who had been chosen by the Father for Him to impact, he refers to them as “the ones you gave me”

This is very freeing for me. I can not be in relationship with every lost, hurting, needy person on the planet. I am so thankful God has revealed this to me because if he hadn’t I am sure I would be suffering from compassion fatigue, exhaustion and breakdown. Although we are called to love all, I can’t be a friend, mentor, or servant to every person that crosses my path. But I am becoming more and more in tune with that still small voice that says “this one. Be a friend to this one. Mentor this one. Serve this one. As well as the voice that says “not this one.”  Jesus said “Come to me all you who are weary, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. I am learning more and more what that means. When he tells me “this one” He is already at work in that person’s life, it’s like the soil is already plowed and he is merely inviting me to fall into step with him and scatter seed in the trail he is blazing.

Like Jesus, with his disciples, our greatest and most lasting impact can occur as a result of our closest relationships.  The impact being in relationship with him for 3 ½ years had on 12 ordinary men, ultimately impacted the world and each one of us. Like my lady on the step, our greatest impact might happen when and where we least expect it, and we might not even realize it.

In the Best of Hands

When we return to Italy in the fall, it will be with one new notch on our growth chart of surrender; our firstborn.

As Shailey began to talk out her interests and potentially map out her next year and her subsequent undergraduate studies it quickly became evident that a gap year in Italy was going to create some impracticalities. As a non resident of Canada she would be forced to apply as an international student which is substantially more expensive. Secondly, since she was homeschooled she is going to have to take entrance exams when she applies. Thirdly, she needs to get her driver’s license sooner than later. Being able to work part time as well as have independence and mobility (on foot or by bike) in our community to serve in ministry would be huge advantages as well.

So we started to realize that she has a lot to do this year to prepare for the next. It was a super emotional time for her, and for us by proxy when we started coming to this conclusion. It meant the year we were looking forward to spending with her had just been chopped off leaving us with 6 weeks. I now know what “heart wrenching” actually feels like.

As Shailey started to feel more determined about what she wanted to study, we started to pray for God to work out all practicalities. It was emotionally overwhelming for us to even imagine  how God could bring all of this together quickly enough that we would feel absolute peace and confidence about so quickly and suddenly settling our daughter and returning to Italy without her.

We prayed to the God of minute details. I asked Him to please make it all come together in ways that only He could so that our daughter would not just “accept” His will for her this year, but embrace it with joy and excitement. God did not disappoint. The past week or so has been one story of Divine Provision after another.. To see Him in all the details, bringing the perfect people into her life in all areas, home, work, ministry, etc, my heart is so full and thankful for her!

A few of God’s fingerprints:

When I prayed about Shailey’s living arrangements God brought a couple to my mind. When we approached them about the possibility of Shailey living with them as a homestay nanny in exchange for room and board they were excited how this was answering not only our prayers but prayers of their own as well. When we met to discuss expectations of both parties, we were on the same page in every way, and when I saw Shailey’s room I couldn’t hold back tears as it was painted and decorated in her favorite colors of robin’s egg blue and chocolate brown.

The little guy that Shailey is going to get to care for 2-3 days a week is going to be such a comfort and joy to her as she has always been such a nurturing and loving big sister, and I am so excited for her to get to live surrounded by other role models and team leaders as she steps out and spreads her wings. She is super excited to live out real life discipleship together with our youth pastor and ministry team, and to pour into younger girls in our community.

We have been praying for the people who can give us confidence in finalizing Shailey’s undergraduate career plans, as she has expressed the desire to pursue a bachelor of arts in Social Work, specializing in youth and family counselling. Wouldn’t you know that this week at family camp we are surrounded by some of the top christian people in Saskatoon with years of expertise in this field.

As Shailey came to terms with not returning to Italy she began a grieving process. This is healthy and good. I wanted her to have the tools to transition well. The other night I was lying in bed praying for her. God brought the Canadian MK (missionary kid) Network to my mind and I remembered that they have a reboot camp for kids transitioning off the field. I felt the urgency to actually get up and send an email to our missions agency explaining the situation and requesting information (even though it was close to 1 am). The next day I received a hasty reply that our agency was strongly encouraging us to send her, and would help sponsor the cost, and that the deadline for registration was that same day.

He’s a good, good Father. It’s who He is. Our girl is in the best of hands, being loved by Him.

Committed to God's Supply

Being home on home assignment, 3 ½ years after we first received our call to serve overseas, I want to take this opportunity to testify to the journey in hindsight. To summarize what God has done and is continuing to do in and through our calling and our lives.

The journey has been one step of trust and obey at a time. It still is. In a broad sense God had revealed where He wanted us, by giving us a heart of compassion and love for His church in Pietro’s native land of Italy. The first thing we needed to trust Him to reveal was what He was asking of us. As we prayed and waited on Him to reveal His heart for us and for Italy we were able to identify clearly (and quite remarkably for us) that He was giving us a vision to see Italian churches empowered to equip their members to effectively develop disciples of Jesus who make disciples as Jesus did. Not from the pulpit. Not in a classroom, not even in the church, but in intentional relational environments in small group settings. In relationship. In Real Life.

Our next step of trust and obey was that the God who was calling us, was going to equip us.  We knew in a general sense where He was calling us, and we knew in powerful sense what he was calling us to do but we didn’t have a clear sense of how we were going to accomplish this. It was precisely at this time in our life that after years of prayer and searching on our part for tools to disciple effectively, God led our pastor to the ministry of Real Life Ministries in Post Falls, Idaho. He invited us to be part of a pilot group that worked through a 12 week training manual called Real Life Discipleship: Equipping Disciples to Make Disciples. The manual was the first step that God set before us to equip us to do the work He had called us to do. Since then our relationship and partnership with Real Life has grown, and after many years of praying for a “Paul”, our hearts overflow that in the ministry of this church we have found faithful men and women who are able to honestly model as Paul did, “Imitate me as I imitate Jesus.” But in such humility that really all we hear them say is “imitate Jesus and this is how we have learned to do that.” They have been faithful in modelling this and in encouraging and equipping us on this journey from day one, visiting us in Italy twice in two years with plans in the works for the next visit, skyping with Pietro every week, and even as I write this  investing in us in an intimate one week international missions training with the purpose “to strategically equip their volunteer international coaches and key national pastors and leaders to build and reproduce disciple making churches in their countries and regions.”

Another step of trust and obey was that the God who was calling us was going to guide us. He was going to reveal more specifically the where and the who that He was calling us to work and work with. We laugh (really laugh out loud laugh) when we look back on this one. At the time we didn’t understand why God wouldn’t tell us this before asking us to put 8 people and 24 pieces of luggage on a plane and move to another country, but we do recognize the reality that if He would have revealed the where and the who to us beforehand we can see how we would have resisted. We say regularly that Naples was Pietro’s Nineveh. We also felt strongly called to encourage and equip Italian churches and the fact that the church that God led us to work with is an international bi-lingual church wouldn’t have seemed to fit that bill as we had in mind. So God didn’t give us the option to resist, He merely led us one step of the journey at a time, until He had us right where He wanted us and there has been no shadow of a doubt in our minds that God wants us to do our part to encourage and empower Il Faro International Baptist Church to live out their mission statement “to develop mature and united disciples to reach Naples and the world for Jesus” and that He desires to use this church in the future to encourage and equip Italian churches.

A final and ongoing trust and obey was that the God who called us, was going to provide for us. When God called us into ministry He did not lead us on the path of  the traditional modern missionary organization route. We did not find an agency that had a heart for what God was calling us to do in Italy and told us how much money to raise in order to qualify. God brought together a couple with the calling to go, a church with the calling to send and an agency with the calling to equip local church driven missions. From the beginning we sensed our part was to go. God’s part was to provide. Our agency has two core values: the one I mentioned above: local church driven missions the other committed to God’s supply. God’s supply. Those words have come to mean so much to us over the course of the past 3 ½ years.

In all honesty, we have not been the poster children for this core value, but we are learning and growing. For us, committed to God’s supply means “hands off” when it comes to money, budgeting and support raising. It means extreme surrender of these areas to God. It means George Mueller is our role model in that we learn to commit our needs to God and not to man, and trust God to meet them through the men and means of His choosing. As I have said, we have not modelled this pristinely all along the way, sometimes wanting to lend God a helping hand in making our needs known, or putting our trust in men rather than in God. But He is faithful and patient and good. He continues to teach us what it means to be committed to His supply and how wonderful and amazing it is to see how and through whom He chooses to provide. This blog has become a testament to that.

Our life is full, of challenges and opportunities, and I don’t find the time to write as much as I wish I could and my stones often pile up in my lap these days. Today I have a about a dozen of them that have been picked up along the way just over the course of the past weeks since we began our home assignment. Each one of them has to do with being committed to God’s supply and through whom and how He has chosen to supply. The say cheaper by the dozen, so here are my 12 stones of gratitude:

1. Those who provided our flights,
2. Those who provided a home
3. Those who furnished the home from beds and bedding, dressers, couches, to dishes and every conceivable household item. On a cute side note, God provided 2 couches and a loveseat for “our” living room from two different sources. Our good friends offered a spare couch first. Then another friend received word that someone who had not managed to sell their couch and loveseat in a moving sale were offering them for free. When he went to pick them up, they were a matching set to the first couch that had been loaned.
4. Those who filled our fridge, freezer, cupboards, pantry, laundry and bathroom with food, cooking instructions, and every conceivable need down to razors and shaving gel, q tips and polysporin.
5. Those who generously gifted us with funds to help us with the additional expenses of travel and accommodation while on the road.
6. Those who provided us with vehicle(s) and fuel.
7. Sylvia, a perfect stranger God led us to in a church parking lot in Fernie, BC when our tire blew out on Father’s Day Sunday at 1 pm. Sylvia led us to a divine appointment and before she left pressed a sum of money into Pietro’s hand that met the expense we were to incur the next day to have a replacement tire mounted in Cranbrook.
8. Nick and Judy V. more perfect strangers who adopted us for night after we discovered that Canadian Tire didn’t have a single tire in the size we needed and wouldn’t be able to get one in for four days. They put us up for night and enlisted their son and law Travis to find us a tire in Cranbrook the next day.
9. A stone for the Paul’s in our life. Dave and Stuart and the many other real life people at Real Life Ministries who lead like Jesus and faithfully and intentionally teach us to do the same.
10. A stone for Dale and Donna W. who are hosting us this week in their most adorable B&B The Chicken Coop. Another cute side note, this B&B received a last minute cancellation (as in the day before our arrival)  of a one week booking which made it possible for us to stay here. Just like our home in Italy we feel like God personally arranged for the most perfect place that He knew would provide us with the perfect space and ambience.
11. A stone for the missions team at Real Life who is serving this week behind the scenes to provide meals for our family and the other participants.
12. A stone for the asian tourists that God used to provide parking money for us at the Coeur d’Alene boardwalk yesterday. One final cute story. We are in the states but have no American money. When we decided to take the kids for a walk on the boardwalk yesterday morning we didn’t think about parking money until we were pulling into the parking lot. Pietro got out of the vehicle and began moving over toward a ticket machine where an asian couple were plugging coins. Before he arrived they moved away from that machine toward another and a second person arrived at the first machine ahead of Pietro. When the second person plugged his money in, three parking tickets came out. The asian couple came back and gave Pietro the extra parking ticket. It might seem trivial, a parking ticket worth a mere dollar or two, but it represents a need, and it represents the God who delights to supply.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow and thank you to each of you who allow yourselves to be channels of His blessings and supply.