Committed to God's Supply

Being home on home assignment, 3 ½ years after we first received our call to serve overseas, I want to take this opportunity to testify to the journey in hindsight. To summarize what God has done and is continuing to do in and through our calling and our lives.

The journey has been one step of trust and obey at a time. It still is. In a broad sense God had revealed where He wanted us, by giving us a heart of compassion and love for His church in Pietro’s native land of Italy. The first thing we needed to trust Him to reveal was what He was asking of us. As we prayed and waited on Him to reveal His heart for us and for Italy we were able to identify clearly (and quite remarkably for us) that He was giving us a vision to see Italian churches empowered to equip their members to effectively develop disciples of Jesus who make disciples as Jesus did. Not from the pulpit. Not in a classroom, not even in the church, but in intentional relational environments in small group settings. In relationship. In Real Life.

Our next step of trust and obey was that the God who was calling us, was going to equip us.  We knew in a general sense where He was calling us, and we knew in powerful sense what he was calling us to do but we didn’t have a clear sense of how we were going to accomplish this. It was precisely at this time in our life that after years of prayer and searching on our part for tools to disciple effectively, God led our pastor to the ministry of Real Life Ministries in Post Falls, Idaho. He invited us to be part of a pilot group that worked through a 12 week training manual called Real Life Discipleship: Equipping Disciples to Make Disciples. The manual was the first step that God set before us to equip us to do the work He had called us to do. Since then our relationship and partnership with Real Life has grown, and after many years of praying for a “Paul”, our hearts overflow that in the ministry of this church we have found faithful men and women who are able to honestly model as Paul did, “Imitate me as I imitate Jesus.” But in such humility that really all we hear them say is “imitate Jesus and this is how we have learned to do that.” They have been faithful in modelling this and in encouraging and equipping us on this journey from day one, visiting us in Italy twice in two years with plans in the works for the next visit, skyping with Pietro every week, and even as I write this  investing in us in an intimate one week international missions training with the purpose “to strategically equip their volunteer international coaches and key national pastors and leaders to build and reproduce disciple making churches in their countries and regions.”

Another step of trust and obey was that the God who was calling us was going to guide us. He was going to reveal more specifically the where and the who that He was calling us to work and work with. We laugh (really laugh out loud laugh) when we look back on this one. At the time we didn’t understand why God wouldn’t tell us this before asking us to put 8 people and 24 pieces of luggage on a plane and move to another country, but we do recognize the reality that if He would have revealed the where and the who to us beforehand we can see how we would have resisted. We say regularly that Naples was Pietro’s Nineveh. We also felt strongly called to encourage and equip Italian churches and the fact that the church that God led us to work with is an international bi-lingual church wouldn’t have seemed to fit that bill as we had in mind. So God didn’t give us the option to resist, He merely led us one step of the journey at a time, until He had us right where He wanted us and there has been no shadow of a doubt in our minds that God wants us to do our part to encourage and empower Il Faro International Baptist Church to live out their mission statement “to develop mature and united disciples to reach Naples and the world for Jesus” and that He desires to use this church in the future to encourage and equip Italian churches.

A final and ongoing trust and obey was that the God who called us, was going to provide for us. When God called us into ministry He did not lead us on the path of  the traditional modern missionary organization route. We did not find an agency that had a heart for what God was calling us to do in Italy and told us how much money to raise in order to qualify. God brought together a couple with the calling to go, a church with the calling to send and an agency with the calling to equip local church driven missions. From the beginning we sensed our part was to go. God’s part was to provide. Our agency has two core values: the one I mentioned above: local church driven missions the other committed to God’s supply. God’s supply. Those words have come to mean so much to us over the course of the past 3 ½ years.

In all honesty, we have not been the poster children for this core value, but we are learning and growing. For us, committed to God’s supply means “hands off” when it comes to money, budgeting and support raising. It means extreme surrender of these areas to God. It means George Mueller is our role model in that we learn to commit our needs to God and not to man, and trust God to meet them through the men and means of His choosing. As I have said, we have not modelled this pristinely all along the way, sometimes wanting to lend God a helping hand in making our needs known, or putting our trust in men rather than in God. But He is faithful and patient and good. He continues to teach us what it means to be committed to His supply and how wonderful and amazing it is to see how and through whom He chooses to provide. This blog has become a testament to that.

Our life is full, of challenges and opportunities, and I don’t find the time to write as much as I wish I could and my stones often pile up in my lap these days. Today I have a about a dozen of them that have been picked up along the way just over the course of the past weeks since we began our home assignment. Each one of them has to do with being committed to God’s supply and through whom and how He has chosen to supply. The say cheaper by the dozen, so here are my 12 stones of gratitude:

1. Those who provided our flights,
2. Those who provided a home
3. Those who furnished the home from beds and bedding, dressers, couches, to dishes and every conceivable household item. On a cute side note, God provided 2 couches and a loveseat for “our” living room from two different sources. Our good friends offered a spare couch first. Then another friend received word that someone who had not managed to sell their couch and loveseat in a moving sale were offering them for free. When he went to pick them up, they were a matching set to the first couch that had been loaned.
4. Those who filled our fridge, freezer, cupboards, pantry, laundry and bathroom with food, cooking instructions, and every conceivable need down to razors and shaving gel, q tips and polysporin.
5. Those who generously gifted us with funds to help us with the additional expenses of travel and accommodation while on the road.
6. Those who provided us with vehicle(s) and fuel.
7. Sylvia, a perfect stranger God led us to in a church parking lot in Fernie, BC when our tire blew out on Father’s Day Sunday at 1 pm. Sylvia led us to a divine appointment and before she left pressed a sum of money into Pietro’s hand that met the expense we were to incur the next day to have a replacement tire mounted in Cranbrook.
8. Nick and Judy V. more perfect strangers who adopted us for night after we discovered that Canadian Tire didn’t have a single tire in the size we needed and wouldn’t be able to get one in for four days. They put us up for night and enlisted their son and law Travis to find us a tire in Cranbrook the next day.
9. A stone for the Paul’s in our life. Dave and Stuart and the many other real life people at Real Life Ministries who lead like Jesus and faithfully and intentionally teach us to do the same.
10. A stone for Dale and Donna W. who are hosting us this week in their most adorable B&B The Chicken Coop. Another cute side note, this B&B received a last minute cancellation (as in the day before our arrival)  of a one week booking which made it possible for us to stay here. Just like our home in Italy we feel like God personally arranged for the most perfect place that He knew would provide us with the perfect space and ambience.
11. A stone for the missions team at Real Life who is serving this week behind the scenes to provide meals for our family and the other participants.
12. A stone for the asian tourists that God used to provide parking money for us at the Coeur d’Alene boardwalk yesterday. One final cute story. We are in the states but have no American money. When we decided to take the kids for a walk on the boardwalk yesterday morning we didn’t think about parking money until we were pulling into the parking lot. Pietro got out of the vehicle and began moving over toward a ticket machine where an asian couple were plugging coins. Before he arrived they moved away from that machine toward another and a second person arrived at the first machine ahead of Pietro. When the second person plugged his money in, three parking tickets came out. The asian couple came back and gave Pietro the extra parking ticket. It might seem trivial, a parking ticket worth a mere dollar or two, but it represents a need, and it represents the God who delights to supply.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow and thank you to each of you who allow yourselves to be channels of His blessings and supply.

The Red Sea Rules

It may be the shortest but quite possibly the most powerful book I have ever read and definitely spiritual manna for my soul. Every single sentence packs a punch and a world of trust and obey challenges to put into practice.

The Red Sea Rules can be summarized like this:

1. Realize that God means for you to be where you are.
2. Be more concerned with God's glory than your relief
3. Acknowledge your enemy but keep your eyes on the Lord
4. Pray
5. Stay calm and confident and give God time to work
6. When unsure just take the next logical step by faith
7. Envision God's enveloping presence
8. Trust God to deliver in His own unique way
9. View your current crisis as a faith builder for the future
10. Praise Him!

My stone today is engraved with RSR #8 and the story goes like this....

Over two months ago, we were 11 hours from home and about 1/2 from the border of France on our way to a European worker's family conference. As we pulled into a fuel station our van began to make a horrific grinding noise from somewhere in the undercarriage. It literally sounded like we were dragging the engine. The station attendants told us to "best keep going" because it was Saturday afternoon in a small town in northern Italy in August. In other words if we broke down there we would be hard put to ever get out.

We prayed over the van, that it would get us to our destination and with some trepidation pulled back onto the packed freeway. We not only drove the rest of the way to France without issues, (the noise disappeared) we made it HOME from France taking a number of detours along the way.  And when we took the van to our mechanic to investigate what Pietro suspected was a clutch/flywheel issue (I hope I'm saying that right), there was nothing to indicate a problem or to merit removing our engine to inspect the clutch flywheel.

We were very relieved that the noise had gone away, and continued to drive the van for over two months without a hint of an issue. Last week we had friends here from Canada and had just one day to enjoy with them. We took them to Pompeii and on the way home, lo and behold, about half a block from our mechanic the van started to make that horrific noise again. We pulled into the mechanic and got the diagnosis. Pietro had been right, it was the clutch flywheel. Our mechanic was stupefied that this had happened more than two months prior and then.... stopped. He said by all accounts we should have broke down on the road to France, never mind the trip back and two months of driving to boot.

The bad news is that it was a big job, with a big bill; as big as our entire year's cost of insurance and definitely not in our budget. The good news is that God delivers in His own unique way. That need presenting itself in that moment (right in front of the mechanic) on that day (the only day our friends were here with us) was a divine equation for miraculous provision. When someone leans in from the back seat and says "Guys, what's this gonna cost?" and then gently asks if they can take care of it? That's Rule #8 with skin on folks, and it's the prelude to Rule #10....

Your Father Knows....

We are not the same people we were two years ago. We don't think the same, we don't respond the same, and interestingly, we are no longer surprised when God orchestrates amazing things on our behalf.

That doesn't mean that we are not just as delighted, or just as overcome with emotion, but we are not *surprised*. Because He has proven Himself again and again, and again to be our Source, our Sure Thing. The One who calls, provides for the journey.

We can't really live by a budget, because the numbers don't match. God's math doesn't make ANY sense. Somehow there is money to give, to host, to bless, when there should technically only be enough to pay the rent and utility bills. Our vehicle insurance, repairs, tires, etc are not even in the theoretical budget right now, and amazingly, that doesn't concern us.

Like the lady with the oil and the jars, when it should be running out, somehow, it never does. And when something out of the ordinary looms (like our vehicle insurance next month) the money anonymously shows up in our MSC Canada account in the exact right figures that we need.

Or we agree to pray for discernment about whether we should attend a family camp for European MSC workers and someone emails us before we even have time to pray and says "we want to gift you with *this* amount of money, to use in a way that would bless your family." The exact amount for camp registration.

When God was first challenging us to come to Italy, we felt that He was challenging us to come in faith. With no sure knowledge of where we would end up or how we would pay the bills. We were strangely fierce in our desire to "trust and obey and watch" as the Lord guided and provided. We have never, never, EVER been disappointed.

"Do not be amazed, your Father knows what you need before you even ask", and His children who He has blessed with resources are a blessing to others, that we may bless others, that they... Oh what a privilege to be His child, and to be siblings with you in this life now, and in our eternal home. May His family grow and His name be made famous among the nations!

Nothing to Give

I started this day with nothing to give. And yet to me this day so much has been given.

When I rose with the dawn and wearily gathered my bible, prayer journal and devotional, I started by journaling how spent I was. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Ten days of battling a wicked ear infection, as many days of seeking to sum 40 years of testimony into four pages that would wholly reflect and glorify the One who has been there leading and sustaining each step of the way. A night of very little rest due to nausea from antibiotics, and the monumental task of going out and standing before a room full of women to bare my soul just hours ahead of me.

"God," I wrote. "I need You. I have nothing without You. I don't have the energy to do what I need to do today. We don't have the resources to pay the bills that have come in the past two days. We don't have the patience and the endurance to face another month of dealing with all the bureaucracy of getting our residency issues sorted out. God, it's been a hard year. Four homes, and we still aren't settled. All the expenses and the exchange rate on our support making this seem financially impossible. God, we need you."

After journaling, I took up my devotional book, turning to the passage in Phil 4:6-7 and read this: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; then the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

The devotional meditation that followed read;  "In every thing, by prayer and supplication make your requests known to God." 'But do not beg. Rather, come just as a business manager bringing to the owner the needs, checks to be signed, etc., and knowing that to lay the matter before Him means immediate supply. I (God) long to supply, but the asking- or the faith-assurance from you, is necessary, because to you that contact with Me is vital."

With thanksgiving, I praise God for how He has provided for both our needs and some of our wants. And how it has been His provision, His blessing to come through in each case. How I love to make His name famous for how faithful and good He is! And so I place my stones in the road.

Because of the drop in the Canadian dollar, even though our support remains the same and our supporters are faithful, what we get after the exchange rate does not come close to reflecting our actual budget. This has meant that while we have money to pay the rent, the bills, gas for the van and feed our family there is nothing extra for clothing or medication or unexpected expenses. So when the boys were down to two pairs of "acceptable to wear in public" pants each, one pair of which could be considered "iffy" I started praying I could find some cheap used pants for them at the market that could be squeezed into the grocery budget. Unfortunately because of all the immigrants here, it is extremely hard to find used items at the market and for two weeks I had no success. That second Saturday I prayed and told God the boys needed pants and that Jonathan needed shoes. The girls had also requested I keep my eye open for brown dress shoes for them (a want not a need).

The next day one of my new friends, the wife of an American chaplain on the base, was visiting with me at church and said, "Oh, by the way, next Saturday there is a bag sale at the Thrift Store on base, would you like to come with me?" (You need to be sponsored on by a military family). Of course you will not be surprised to know that in that sale I got two BAGS full of clothes for ten euros. Not just one, but four pairs of pants for each of the boys, and although there were not many shoes to choose from, there were 6 pairs of beautiful brown dress shoes in the girls' sizes. Besides this I was able to get coats and house coats for a number of the kids. All for the price of ONE pair of pants at the market.

For a few weeks my heart has been very burdened for Shailey. She is sixteen and was so enjoying her "freedom" in Canada to get out and do things as an individual. Her piano lessons, quizzing, riding... she has given all of these up and has nothing to replace them here. She expressed feeling a bit stir crazy, and wanting to find a way to earn some money so that she could take riding lessons at the stable nearby. They are not expensive, but even ten euros a lesson is one third of our day's household expenses and unfeasible for us. So we committed to pray even though my heart did not have hope. The economy here is in crisis. Everyone is struggling to put food on the table. People are constantly asking us to provide work for them, cutting our grass, cleaning our house, cooking for us, they are begging for work and we can't help any of them. Riding lessons for Shailey seems extravagant in light of this.

But within days of requesting that God provide the means for Shailey to make some money so that she can pursue an interest, we were approached with a request for babysitting from another American family from our church. She has three dates pencilled in for the near future and her eyes are shining like stars as she looks forward to being able to climb in the saddle again.

Lastly, just today, after my time in the word this morning I handed over these unexpected bills that are coming up due to our new rental contract and hook ups. Like the devotional said, I didn't beg. I just said, God, we are your servants. You are our source. We don't have the money to pay these bills. And now tonight, in my inbox, a little note from someone on the other side of the world, saying they had "some money" they were praying how and where to give, and today they knew they were to give it to us.

"I (God) long to supply, but the asking- or the faith-assurance from you, is necessary, because to you that contact with Me is vital."

Oh how these words resonate with me in this current chapter of growth and learning about His goodness and faithfulness. Every day I look at the Vine and the Branches painting Ramona gifted us before we moved and I realize that it says it all. Apart from Him we can do nothing. He is our life, our source, our song.

The Crate of Christmas Oranges

When I suspected my last post for "Stones by the Road" I didn't mean the blog in general, but the theme that I had chosen for 2015. I felt the focus would shift in 2016 and was waiting to see where the road would lead. In the end, the road goes on and the stones remain, they will just take on broader hues of remembering rather than solely God's acts of faithfulness. They will also come to represent people, stories, and moments that bear epigraph.

So here I stand, with a stone in my hand and a story to tell.

When I was a kid, we lived for some years in a refurbished shed with no power and no running water. We drove a mint green 1960's Plymouth Valiant station wagon (when it ran) and I remember wanting to be dropped off a block away from school so noone would see me pulling up in "Betsy".

Our shack had a refurbished steel barrel for a wood heating stove, oil lamps, propane fridge and stove. In winter (mountain winter, I remember the cold blowing in through the cracks in the chinking, frozen senseless feet on clapboard floors, frosty breath like smoke in the morning) we melted snow to wash dishes and ourselves in an iron basin. In summer a black barrel on a stand outside warmed water for us to shower in the great outdoors. So I know a little bit about roughing it, but I remember it more with fondness than despair. Life was simple; complicated, but simple.  I had a swing under the big old evergreens growing on the slope that would swing me way out over the bank until I felt I was suspended between sky and land.

We got food hampers at Christmas back then, and I vaguely remember my step dad bringing home a tub of hand me down toys and a crate of Christmas oranges from the local community center. We were the have nots.

Flash forward to today, and here we are, suspended somewhere in the space between the haves and the have nots.

We knew before we came to Naples that God was giving us a huge home of great value for little more than the rent many pay for a large apartment. We also knew we were coming to a very poor neighborhood that houses (and I use the term loosely as many of them are squatters) more Africans than Italians. In reality, driving down our streets there is little to indicate you are not in Africa.

Since we came to the field we live on substantially less monthly income and have slightly higher monthly expenses than we used to. We don't know how this works, but so far it seems to be like the lady with the oil in the jar. It never runs out.

All that said, I look around and I just can't fathom how my neighbors are doing it. We have money for groceries, for insurance for our vehicle, gas for the same, and pellets for our stove (heating source). This Sunday at Il Faro our family helped with handing out our monthly food hampers to 24 families from or with connections to our church who don't have money for any of those things. They live in houses that are mostly unheated except for a wood stove or a fireplace in their kitchen. They go out near daily to hunt for fallen wood in the pine forest (which is illegal) because they can't afford firewood. The temperature here goes down to plus 5 at night and even though it may get to plus 16 during the day, it never takes the humid chill out of a concrete building.

But they would give you the shirt off their back. Watching them, living among them, we are learning so much about God's economy and living beyond one's means.

Don't get me wrong, I don't use that term with the North American connotation of living beyond one's means by buying more house, bigger cars, faster toys and maxing out our credit cards. On the contrary, I use the term to refer to giving when you have not.

You see, we have these neighbors. All they have is each other, the eggs their chickens lay and what goodwill provides them.  She comes over a few times every week with eggs for me, and the other day we returned home to find a crate of Christmas oranges on our dining room table. A Christmas present from them. They don't have money to buy themselves meat for their table, but they bought a crate of Christmas oranges for us.

The oranges have taken on a deep symbolism for me. They represent the couple back home who have struggled financially and made sacrifices as a family of 8 due to lack of work and yet continue to support us faithfully with four times our average monthly support. They represent our missionary friends on the field with us here in Italy who live by faith and give monthly towards our support by faith as well. They represent another beautiful couple who have struggled with unemployment and financial hardship and yet choose to give to make it possible for us to go. They represent the church in Texas who know nothing about us except except for the short bio and family photo they saw in the MSC Canada missionary handbook and yet sent money for us to buy Christmas presents for our kids.

Lastly, they represent our own unfolding story. Freely you have been given, freely give. I may not have money to buy presents for my own kids, I may not have money to put my kids in activities, but you can bet your bottom dollar our family is giving the gift of firewood to a number of special people this week. And our hearts are warmed and our spirits are happy as we learn to live by God's rich upside down economy that it truly is better to give than to receive.

A Beautiful Benefactor

The stories I tell of God’s faithfulness might make our life look like a fairytale. In some ways it really is. I read this Oswald Chambers quote recently and it really struck home for me. “As long as we are “rich”, particularly in the area of pride or independence, God can do nothing for us.“ You see, when you have surrendered all security, all control, all ability to take care of your own needs yourself that is when He has the opportunity to do what you wouldn’t need Him to do if you were self sufficient, self directed and self centered.

But the reality is that fairytales have a dark side. Yes, warm houses show up in dark forests, princes show up on white steeds and save helpless maidens from fiery dragons. But dark forests and fiery dragons exist.

My writing is primarily a place for me to magnify our Reason to Sing. He is so good. So faithful. So incredibly incredible. He is. I mean, He has proven Himself over and over and over.

Recently I shared about how I turned to God to ask Him to provide spare beds for us. He did so within days. Right after that occurred I went home and kind of chuckled to myself, (half) jokingly saying, “Oh man…. why didn’t I have the foresight to ask You for an armoire and a dresser, too?” The very next morning my doorbell rings, and the SAME lady who had given me the beds, sheets and guest towels is standing at the bottom of my stairwell. “Listen,”, says she, “It’s not that you would be in need of a bedroom suite for your guest room would you? My neighbor is redoing her rooms and has a set to give away.”

Of course she is. I may have chuckled as I made the initial jest, but God definitely got the last laugh as He orchestrated the response.  

His attention to detail is impeccable.  In the midst of our move, I realized we were still one dresser and one armoire short since the girls had been living at Nonna’s and using her furniture. My first thought was that we would go to Ikea to pick up a couple of pieces but again, I caught myself. Not my money, not my job, first ask for what you need. The day after we arrived we were sitting around the table at Tim and Jacki’s house and retelling the story about the bedroom suite. She casually mentions, ”If you need another dresser, we have that one just sitting there you are welcome to take.” That one was the big dresser from Ikea, in the exact finish of our other furniture… the exact dresser I would have bought if I had taken care of it myself, oh, and hey, by the way, there is a matching armoire you are welcome to, too.

So why… why, why why do I, like the Israelites in the desert, get to those inevitable points in the road where the stretch ahead looks bleak, no oasis visible to the barren eye, and my gut reaction is worry?

One of these barren vistas is sometimes our monthly support figure when it arrives via email. Some months it is our oasis, our miracle. Some months, like this one, I look at the Canadian figure of just over  half of what we used to make when we had a predictable salary, do the math to convert to euros which makes it that much less, and my heart sinks a little.

Sometimes, I even panic. Sometimes I even catch myself almost on the brink of thinking out loud, “God did you bring us out into the wilderness to perish?”  Wow. Really? How can I even go there after all He has done? But the truth is, that at month’s end, when our tummies are full and our every need is met, I look at the month to come and I question whether we are going to be able to afford to pay the heating, or worry that Christmas won’t have Christmas presents or my kids will be forever stunted because they won’t be able to take music lessons or participate in sports.

Last night I lay in bed turning these thoughts over and over in my head. Wrestling with the truth that we are secure in the keeping of our gracious Heavenly Father, and the lie that we are going to freeze or go hungry in the wilderness. As a human being I want to DO something to secure control of our future needs.  Always, shamefully, it comes back to this. I felt that quiet voice telling me to be still and I prayed over and over “Be still and know that I am God” until my tense muscles relaxed and I drifted off to sleep.

This morning I awoke to a quiet, still house, bundled up in my wool sweater jacket over my fleece pyjamas and moved to sit near the heater with my bible and journal. After beginning a study on Ruth yesterday I found myself in chapter 2 and God ministered to me so deeply through the reminder of how He gave Ruth such exaggeratedly extravagant grace under  such a kind, generous benefactor. Boaz’s words to Ruth appeared magnified on the page as I read them. “May the Lord reward your work and your wages be full from the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to seek refuge.”  

A little later I opened our email to discover a communication from an unknown sender where some sweet ladies (perfect strangers) in Texas wrote the following greeting; “On behalf of (our assembly) we wish your family a very merry Christmas and a blessed new Year. Funds were forwarded to (your agency) for your children for Christmas gifts.”

Two precious ways God reminded me to be stayed on Him. Two ways of showing me, reminding me, promising me that He is our Kinsmen Redeemer, He is our Great Reward, and He, and only He, is and always will be our Beautiful Benefactor.

Be still my beating heart and rest in the knowledge that He’s got the whole crazy world, and our every single circumstance, in His very capable and all powerful hands.

Clothed in Versace

We have a family tradition of reading missionary biographies together in the evening before bed. George Mueller, Gladys Aylward, Eric Liddell, Mary Slessor, David Livingstone, Cameron Townsend, William Carey, Hudson Taylor... the list goes on. One of the things that has always impacted me about these people is their ability to completely entrust all the details to God.

I remember thinking so many times how I wanted to have that kind of faith. That kind of obedience. That kind of testimony. Unfortunately we had bought into a different story... a story of our own writing, our own creative license if you will. It kind of makes me laugh now, looking back on the past year and how out of character it was for both of us. We had always said that we would only go to the mission field as tent makers, if given the opportunity to serve and yet still provide for our family ourselves. We realize now that little ultimatum is one of the things that kept us from serving the Lord here in Italy, a country with extremely high unemployment, debilitating taxes and an economy going the way of Greece.

One of the first things we had to give up in order to take this journey of faith and obedience was our independence and self reliance. This is not the kind of thing you do on your own rationale, reasoning, gumption or revenue. The interesting thing is that this mentality shift was not a struggle on our part, it was like something that happened on its own, in our hearts, while we were sleeping. That is to say it was just something we realized one day had completely changed in both our hearts. God was calling us to follow Him and serve Him, somewhere, somehow. All He wanted from us was to "get ready" and He wanted us to do so without any answers to the myriads of questions that surfaced daily for us.

My word for 2015 is TRUST and the question for 2015 has been "Do you trust Me?" The truth is, I am not where I want to be but I am not where I once was. In this past year the opportunities for God to prove His trustworthiness have abounded as have my opportunities to be tested in my trust of Him. So often when the waves start to rise, I get anxious and say "Help me trust you, God." over and over. And He does. But I want it to be like breathing. carbon dioxide in, carbon monoxide out. Conflict in, Trust out.

I hold a very smooth and precious stone in my hand right now. Lovingly monogrammed with a P for Provision but that could as easily stand for P for proof. Proof that God is trustworthy. Proof that when we live fully reliant on Him He comes through in ways that exceed our imaginings. Proof that when you give up, God gives back, and that He does so abundantly.

The background:  Pietro's Italian driver's license and the unfortunate new law that anyone whose Italian driver's license has been expired for more than five years must start from scratch, which means taking drivers instruction classes and it is very, very expensive, over $1,000 CAD. Starting out on the first level of vehicle insurance once again meant over $1,200 CAD for 6 months insurance. It may not sound scary to those of you with savings accounts and salaries, but for us, we truly have to rely on God to meet these unexpected expenses in ways we can't foresee. I laughed when I all of a sudden came to the realization that we are living our own missionary biography.

If I don't give in to anxiety, which I didn't this time, I usually unwittingly find my thoughts veering into the traffic control lane. Meaning I start to brainstorm how I can save money on groceries and gas and electricity in order to cover these expenses. Left to myself I could save a bundle by cooking on war rations and going unplugged. But that's solving things my way and that is not allowing for the P is for Providence stone to be placed in my path. God has a better way. His way doesn't involve me at all. His way tells me  "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you." 2 Chronicles 20:17, Exodus 14:3. So I chose to trust and not deny my family meat and cheese and commit these expenses to God.  Three things happened within 10 days.

The first proof of God's provision came clear as lightning at midnight when we received our monthly remittance from MSC Canada. It included $1,500 in one time gifts from 3 churches and one individual who are MSC supporters (people we have no personal connection with besides the fact that we are MSC workers and they are MSC supporters). This is $1,500 over and above our monthly budget needs!

The second proof came in the person of a lady from our church showing up at our doorstep with a brown paper bag of pizza, bread and croissants from the bakery. The baker entrusts her (a dear lady of mercy on a very small pension with an orphaned grandaughter to raise) with his leftovers at the end of the day, to use or to distribute as she is led. God led her to our door.

The third proof, and the one that really caught my breath, was an expression of God's provision towards our girls. Its been a tough week for them.  They have given up as much, if not more, than any of us. They have been suffering the deep pain of loss of their relationships, loss of their music since we had to leave the piano behind, and loss of independence since the culture and language here still present a challenge they are not comfortable moving around freely in. Today there was another ring of the bell and the same sweet lady's voice on the intercom. Another delivery from the bakery, but more besides.

Just up the road from us is a darling little boutique that has Versace and Calvin Klein numbers cutely arranged in the window. Suffice it to say we have never gone in. We have visited the little Napoletano store further up on the other side where we found a pair of  ballerina flats for Shailey for 5 euros, but they were in need of glue after one wear. We have also enjoyed hunting for summer pj's and camisoles at the open air market, where we can find things marked down to our price range. That said, Italy is the land of "moda" (fashion) and heaven forbid any economical crisis should mess with fashion, so the boutiques continue to offer shoes and bags and brand name jeans for $100 euros a piece ($140 CAD) and Italians somehow continue to buy them.

Back to sweet little Maria Martucci at our door this morning. She had just come from the boutique where she had been told to come and pick up a last years bathing suit for her granddaughter, a gift from the proprietor since it was no longer "in fashion". While there the proprietor loaded her up with four paper bags of last seasons clothes for her to find a home for... and the little lady marched out of the boutique and up the block to our gate. When I saw the labels and price tags on these clothes my heart caught in my throat but when the girls tried them on and they fit like they were tailor made then the tears really fell. Like Jacob we have entrusted our journey to God asking Him to go before us and give us bread to eat and clothing to wear (Genesis 28:20). We just never imagined He'd clothe our children in Versace.

Like Cedars

"How fair are your tents, O Jacob, your dwellings, O Israel!  Like valleys that stretch out, like gardens beside the river, like aloes planted by the Lord, like cedars beside the waters."  Numbers 24:5-6

This afternoon as we set our faces homeward on our journey from BC to Saskatchewan we prayed that God would go before us and give us clear guidance and provision on where and when to stop for the night.  The forecast was not in our favor with heavy snowfall and potential avalanche conditions ahead of us.  Only an hour and a half into our journey we were brought to a halt by a tucking accident just east of Sicamous where a logging truck had lost part of its load on the road.  After waiting till nearly dark we again prayed for discernment on how to proceed.

We were texting with various concerned family members and as we discussed options, expressing our hope to make it to Revelstoke for night, my aunt was able to check online and see there were no vacancies in Revelstoke.  As we turned back toward Sicamous she started texting me numbers of potential hotels. I hit dial on the first number without even scrolling the list or reading the names and was told they had two adjoining rooms with three queen beds and two single beds. My heart just about reached my mouth when I realized the name of the motel was The Cedars Motel.

Flashback. When our farm sold back in October we happily imagined ourselves on our way to Italy the day after possession. When we realized that wouldn't be possible our hearts sank. What were we to do in the interim?  Where were we supposed to live?  There are no rental houses in our town and we needed to be near Waldheim for many reasons.  That very day the telephone rang and a sweet retired couple from our church told us that they were packing up and clearing out of their house for however long it took us to get to the field, that we had a home until departure.  Their home, a beautiful, new, spacious dwelling at 214 Cedar Place.

Skip forward. It is December and we are planning our farewell trip to BC to connect with family, friends and supporters.  We planned to spend one week in my home town, over two Sundays, and being over Christmas of course houses were full of extended family.  One day about three weeks before our trip we get an email with an offer to house sit a big house out in the country just a hop, skip and a jump from the cabin where I lived as a child, and also just up the road from the friends we were there to visit with.  This family was going to be away the exact dates we were visiting and since they had animals and a wood boiler they really needed to find someone who could take care of their place over the holidays. Their house is built right on the curve of Cedar Creek.

God has been precious to show without a shadow of a doubt that our lodgings are not our concern. That when we seek to obey and move in the path He opens before us, He is intricately concerned with providing for our practical needs in extravagant and intricate ways that only He can. When I look at Cedars in the bible they are indicative of dwelling places, that of Solomon, the tabernacle, people finding a nesting place and dwelling place among the cedars and their tents being compared to Cedars.  For us it has become a beautiful image of God's provision for us as we leave the security of our own dwelling behind and follow Him where He leads.

Prologue Revisited

For those of you who used to read my blog, you get the title of post.  It was called Prairie Prologue.  I called it that in light of this life just being a prologue to eternity.  But now as I drive around the countryside with a heart full of love for these prairies it is coming to have a new meaning.  

I've been thinking.  A lot.  About life and chapters. This summer our family has experienced a sort of "awakening" that is calling us to prepare for the next chapter.  For 9 years we have lived a blessed life in this blessed land, with God providing for our needs so generously and giving us the opportunity of a lifetime to invest in giving our kids a solid foundation.  For ten years we have been teaching our kids about God's big wide world and the people in it.  We have tried our best to serve and love the people around us and to support others who are building the kingdom elsewhere.  Looking back on these past 9 years, and other stages in our life before that, we see how each stage was amazing and wonderful and beautiful in its own way, yet served as a prologue to the next amazing and wonderful and beautiful chapter. 

As Shailey enters ninth grade we realize that we are entering a new era.  Our children are growing up.  We have had the chance to teach them so much, we would like to have the chance to EXPERIENCE the things we have taught them as a family.  To expose them to other cultures, people groups, churches, needs and to serve as a family. There was a point this summer where both Pietro and I felt very clearly that God was saying "Get ready".  

That is no easy task when you are a family of 8 with a house and barn and shop and quonset and acreage full of possessions and a hundred year old house that needs a lot of work to be ready for market.  So we are putting one foot forward in obedience and faith to that "get ready" call.  We are starting to simplify our life in preparation of one day living out of a suitcase.  We don't know when, we don't know where, but we know when the day and directions come we want to be ready.  We look forward to watching the story unfold, and sharing it with you.