Dancing on Water

I am reminded of the reality that was expressed so beautifully the other night in a house church setting; that worship is what we have to give.  It is our music, our prayers, our confessions, our gifts, our words.  For me, I have come to realize more and more that writing truly is a form of worship for me.  It is taking the abstract stones of thought and experience, and joining them together into a concrete altar where I lay my heart and offer it up as a pleasing aroma.

So today, although confined to my bed with alternating chills and fever, I come to lay my gift at the altar.  To confess my fears, and to lay myself down on the Solid Rock and Sure Foundation.

A week ago today I went to bed with a heavy heart.  Dollar signs and tax paragraphs and residency issues tumbling around in my brain as I drifted into a fitful sleep.  As I awakened on Monday morning I felt a thick cloud of oppression pressing in on me.  In a half dreaming state I saw myself in Peter's place, standing on water, nothing solid, nothing secure, just billowing waves, and wind, and spray... and my fears.  Like Peter, I had the faith to step out of the boat... but like Peter, my faith waivers.  What are we doing?  How is this possible?  Are we crazy?  As these thoughts tumbled around in my head I felt the solid glassy surface beneath me turn to liquid and begin to give way.

Coming into consciousness, with that choke hold of anxiety upon me I just cried out, "Keep my eyes on you, Jesus... keep my eyes on you."  I don't know how many times, three or four I think.  But as I repeated those words peace replaced the panic and trust returned.  Trust that to Him, water is as a solid.  All our unknowns, all the details, are known... are provided for, are of no consequence.

All He requires is a childlike faith, a little hand, placed in His.  And if we do, He delights in teaching us to dance on water.

"Peter said to Him, 'Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.'  And He said, "Come!"  And Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, 'Lord, save me!'  Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him and said to him, 'You of little faith, why did you doubt?'  Matthew 14:28-3

Already There

A few weeks ago when I was feeling overwhelmed by how all of this was going to come together, someone shared this amazing song with me, that expresses how God already has it all figured out.  He knows who is going to buy our house, He knows what house we are going to live in in Italy, He knows the people that are going to come together like threads in a tapestry to share in this ministry with us.  Not only does He KNOW but for Him, it's already reality.  

As we sat last night sharing and praying with friends on the last eve of the old year, a possible additional piece of the puzzle that is our future suddenly found itself on the table for discussion.  A piece that once again got my heart pumping and my soul bursting in the AWE of how God orchestrates far beyond our wildest imaginings! To think how he moves in the lives of different people at different times but then brings them together in one place and time and "click" the puzzle pieces have been shaped to fit to perfection. 

A while back God gave us a glimpse into how He may be planning on providing housing for us in Italy that would reduce our support needs by a huge chunk, and now He may be revealing a really perfect opportunity for us to have income in Canada that would provide a substantial portion of our support needs as well.  Both of these things involve  special people in our lives whose circumstances of recent years suddenly become intricately entwined with ours.   As we ponder how the brushstrokes of God create a portrait of perfect provision, we truly are left a bit weak in the knees.  Of course we are still a ways from these things being a concrete reality but we take great joy in the fact that He is already there, and He is planning our comings and our goings with the kind of detailed attention that only He can give.  

How GREAT is our God?!

"From where I'm standing Lord, it's so hard for me to see

where this is going and where you're leading me.  

I wish I knew how all my fears and all my questions

are gonna play out in a world I can't control.

From where you're standing Lord, you see a grand design

that you imagined when you breathed me into life.

And all the chaos comes together in your hands 

like a masterpiece of your picture perfect plan.

When I'm lost in the mystery, to you my future is a memory

cause you're already there.  You're already there.

Standing at the end of my life, waiting on the other side

you're already there.  You're already there.

One day I'll stand before you and look back on the life I've lived.

I can't wait to enjoy the view and see how all the pieces fit.

You're already there."

Casting Crowns