Dancing on Water

I am reminded of the reality that was expressed so beautifully the other night in a house church setting; that worship is what we have to give.  It is our music, our prayers, our confessions, our gifts, our words.  For me, I have come to realize more and more that writing truly is a form of worship for me.  It is taking the abstract stones of thought and experience, and joining them together into a concrete altar where I lay my heart and offer it up as a pleasing aroma.

So today, although confined to my bed with alternating chills and fever, I come to lay my gift at the altar.  To confess my fears, and to lay myself down on the Solid Rock and Sure Foundation.

A week ago today I went to bed with a heavy heart.  Dollar signs and tax paragraphs and residency issues tumbling around in my brain as I drifted into a fitful sleep.  As I awakened on Monday morning I felt a thick cloud of oppression pressing in on me.  In a half dreaming state I saw myself in Peter's place, standing on water, nothing solid, nothing secure, just billowing waves, and wind, and spray... and my fears.  Like Peter, I had the faith to step out of the boat... but like Peter, my faith waivers.  What are we doing?  How is this possible?  Are we crazy?  As these thoughts tumbled around in my head I felt the solid glassy surface beneath me turn to liquid and begin to give way.

Coming into consciousness, with that choke hold of anxiety upon me I just cried out, "Keep my eyes on you, Jesus... keep my eyes on you."  I don't know how many times, three or four I think.  But as I repeated those words peace replaced the panic and trust returned.  Trust that to Him, water is as a solid.  All our unknowns, all the details, are known... are provided for, are of no consequence.

All He requires is a childlike faith, a little hand, placed in His.  And if we do, He delights in teaching us to dance on water.

"Peter said to Him, 'Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.'  And He said, "Come!"  And Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, 'Lord, save me!'  Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him and said to him, 'You of little faith, why did you doubt?'  Matthew 14:28-3