Myopia

For all that I accuse my children of being thick skulled sometimes, it is becoming evident to me that they come by it naturally. I find myself on a now proven and predictable cycle of discovery and re-discovery and.... re-re-discovery.

When this journey began to unfold for us last fall we were impressed with two words. Get. Ready. That was all we knew. As we began to move forward in faith and obedience to that calling to simplify and prepare, there have been many twists and turns and ups and downs that have pointed consistently towards Italy. Sometimes with the road seeming to stretch ahead in sharp and detailed clarity, sometimes enshrouded in thick and heavy, disorienting fog. Sometimes with road markers seeming to point the way, sometimes with dead ends and detour signs throwing us for a loop.

Last week I stayed home from Sunday School to have some quality quiet time with God. And by that you need to understand  I don't just mean "quiet" time.  I mean QUIET time. There is something sacred about an empty, silent house when you are a busy stay at home mom of six. Only the house wasn't empty at all. It was full of God. And as I enjoyed my alone time with Him, He reminded me yet again that He has not left us or forgotten us. No. He gently showed me that yet again *I* am the one who has forgotten.

In September of 2013 He told us what to do. Get ready. Somehow I keep losing sight of that in the journey. Not completely.  Of course we have had to constantly work towards getting ready, but I continuously lose sight of the fact that that is ALL He has asked of us. It's like I hear it. I see it. I get it.  He has my full eye contact, conscious awareness and agreement. But then as one day fades into another and my mind slowly occupies itself with questions and thought processes, slowly but surely my eyes glaze over and shift from His to something slightly over His shoulder, in the distance. And I start to question a million things on the horizon and before I know it I have myopia and a migraine and am sitting there with my head in my hands and my heart in my throat. Only then, when I am so muddled as to be immobilized do I hear again that still small voice,

 "Hey pumpkin'.  Eye contact."

and my eyes refocus... find His.

And I see in them all I need to know.

All that He has revealed.

Get ready.

And it is more than enough.