On Sunday I had the beautiful privilege of celebrating my life, my birthday, on the day we have set aside to celebrate the resurrection of the One who came that I might have life, and life to the full. How deep the Father's love for us. How vast, beyond all measure! That He would give His only Son. To make a wretch His treasure!
On this birthday, in this season of my life, He is indeed continuing to reveal to me daily the extent to which He is delighted to go to make His intensely personal and tender love for me known. His love amazes me. His extravagant grace silences me. I can do nothing but with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, pick up my rough little stone and lay it on the altar of my remembering as my heart swells to bursting with an overwhelming consciousness of how small I am, and how great He is.
My camera has been on its last legs for some time now. As various settings began to fail on it I found new tricks and settings that allowed me to continue to use it until it breathed its last. As I realized we were nearing the end I started to search around for a used camera to replace it. Photography has become the one pastime I am able to take great joy in during this particular chapter of my life, pairing it with the special family day outings we plan twice a month and sharing the comings and goings of our life. I have always loved it, but now especially, it is the one simple artsy thing I can take great joy in as it touches my love for my surroundings and appreciation of all things beautiful.
I have always had pretty cheap and simple cameras. This time I really hoped to graduate up to an entry level DSLR with a wide angle and a larger zoom lens. Knowing how photographers love to upgrade I was pretty sure I could find an older used model that was in my price range.
My "in search of" posts on various local buy and sell sites resulted in one reply, but that camera was about $200 over my budget. After a while a new friend from church told me she had her first Nikon DSLR that I could try out. I was so excited the day I brought it home and tried to wait patiently until we could go in search of a memory card for it. A month passed and every attempt to find the memory card for this camera was thwarted. In Italy it had become obsolete.
The day of my birthday I finally followed up on my intention to ask a friend in Canada to hunt down the accessories I would need if I purchased this camera; the card, a back up battery, and a card reader. She responded quickly with "going camera shopping next week so I will look and see what I find, which makes me wonder if you would be interested in my DSLR camera?" She attached a photo to which I replied something to the effect of, "Gorgeous camera and lenses, but clearly out of my price range!" to which she replied, "Not to buy, silly! To have."
We then texted frantically back and forth for quite awhile as she told me how just the day before she had been looking at the camera bag on the shelf and asking herself what she should do about it, as she just never used it. What she really wanted was a smaller, simpler point and shoot easy to whip out and carry about. After asking herself if she should try to sell it she quickly shelved that thought and was more drawn to finding a home for it with someone that would use and appreciate it and be blessed by it. She's totally that kind of woman.
This camera is so far beyond my wildest dreams, one of the lenses alone is worth more than any camera I have ever owned. The first thing that popped in my head, that eve of my birthday was "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights who does not change like shifting shadows." No, He does not change. He is constant. His extravagant love has always been and will always be vast beyond measure. And that night I felt the warmth of that love- light touch me as I pictured His gaze, maybe even His twinkly eyed wink, as He smiled down on me and blessed me with His very personal and perfect birthday blessing.
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